Dear Pink Diary... What am I to do?

The art of being able to forgive

When someone said to me that I should forgive everyone who has ever hurt me - I told them that they were nuts!

I was told that you do not forgive for others, you forgive for yourself. It took me a long time to get a better understanding of this. I always thought that forgiveness meant that what they did was okay and that I was wrong to feel the way I did about what they did.

I then heard someone else say that was not the case – you need to be clear that you still believe that what they did was wrong, but you will no longer be consumed by those actions.

Forgiveness is when you can think about the trauma without being hurt, angry or upset or feel hatred towards the person who induced the hurt.

I also know that you can only forgive when you are ready. . . It took me 10 years. I do not want it to take you 10 years because it caused me a lot of anguish. During times when I should have been happy - I could not be. I over-reacted to small things. I was not able to live life to the full.

You need to do a spring-cleaning of your heart, clear the blockages and realise that you are really a great person with lots to give, else you would not have been targeted by an insecure, envious bully.

Forgive as soon as you can - it is really the most amazing feeling to feel secure, fulfilled, loving and kind with no anger in your heart.

Disclaimer: I know it is easier said than done and even when you master the art, you may still relapse at times.