Drinks, drugs and date rape

A recent article in a local magazine tells a story of a 17-year-old girl who died at a party at friends' house. Autopsy reports are awaited to confirm suspicions whether her drink was 'spiked' as blood tests show that she had very little alcohol in her blood stream when she first started feeling dizzy and her heart started beating rapidly. She became unconscious and died of heart failure shortly after.

In light of this I want to speak out about what happened to me 8 years ago as I feel we should create an awareness for young girls who think that this only happens to 'people we do not know'.

I was 18 years old, living with my uncle and his third wife and her son and a lady friend of theirs who was visiting. The young lady, Michelle* was a drug addict. A variety of circumstances rendered me quite emotional and vulnerable and I just wanted to go to bed when Michelle and Jacques* asked me to take a drive with them. I agreed, insisting that when I get back home I want to go to bed. Alas, after picking up another friend of theirs, Jaco* and a bottle of alcohol, they invited me to stay for 'just one drink and chat' outside. Reluctantly, or shall I say stupidly, I agreed. I have never been good at saying 'no' and their arguments were convincing. I forgot about all the times that they said I should try some drugs with them, as it would make me feel good.

Shortly after sitting down they said they forgot to get glasses and Michelle asked me to go with her to the kitchen to get glasses. Halfway up the stairs the guys called us back and said they actually had glasses and my drink was poured already. I was too tired, miserable and naive to question this sudden appearance of the glasses.

As the glasses clinked and I took my first sip, I immediately went into a 'trance'. Up until today I have certain flashbacks - the same ones, never any different ones in order to put together the whole puzzle of what happened that night. It is very frustrating and humiliating, as I do not really know what happened. What I can say with certainty is thank God, I was not raped.

Date rape drugs are used to assist sexual assault as it renders the victim helpless and often unconscious. An added benefit to the perpetrator is that the victim often does not remember what happened during their loss of consciousness.

That is what happened to me -the next day I did not know what had happened at all. Over time and with the realisation of what happened and a variety of flashbacks, I have managed to put together a picture in my mind and all I feel is a strange mix of violation and relief. They violated me and I was so stupid that I did not realise it.

I have put my trust and my life into the hands of people with evil intentions and many girls do it every day. . . I am relieved that they were unable to violate me physically due to the fact that they were intoxicated themselves. I sound like a hypocrite based on my state at the time, but I have never been drunk in my life.

I have learnt from this experience not to trust people so easily and want you to be sure to take care of the following:

• Get to know people in your own space where you have people around with whom you feel safe.

• Do not drink with strangers and if you are having any (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) beverage in public, be sure to have it in your hand at all times and keep an eye on people invading your personal space.

• Do not accept drinks from strangers.

• Say NO when you are uncomfortable at all.

• Always go out with at least one good friend that you know you can trust.

• Drink slowly, one sip at a time with time in between. This way the effects will take time to set in and you will be able to seek help immediately when you start feeling strange.

These tips are not guaranteed to keep you safe, but they will sure let any prospective perpetrator know that you are well aware and that may scare them off. The fact that they feel the need to drug someone to get into their pants shows their cowardice.

If you start feeling strange and think your drink may have been spiked, immediately call someone to take care of you. Do not let a stranger look after you as they may easily take advantage of you.

There are various drugs, which are used in date rape, and some of them are addictive, such as GHB (AKA: Liquid Ecstasy, Liquid X, Grievous Bodily Harm), which they used on me, as well as ketamine, rohypnol and alcohol.

GHB is a homemade drug containing ingredients such as paint-stripper and more. It has a slightly salty taste. It is freely available to kids on the streets and in wrong dosages could kill you, as happened to the girl in the article I mentioned.

Things happen for a reason and that answers my question: Why, oh why was I overweight at that age? If I was of normal weight I would have been incapacitated earlier on, before them and they could have had their way with me. Alternatively, perhaps an incorrect dosage could have killed me.

Substances such as drugs and alcohol impair judgment and sometimes cause depression. You could also quite easily overdose, which could lead to brain damage or death.

Some people have a drink occasionally. Some say it is to take the edge off the day’s problems; while some only drink at social gatherings and others have a serious drinking problem. Personal issues can range from underlying emotional reasons for drinking, underage drunk driving, peer pressure, employment related problems and general unhappiness. Whichever category a person falls into, everyone needs to be aware of long-term effects of alcohol on health; as well as the effects it has on those who are near and dear to us.

Alcohol is absorbed into the bloodstream and is distributed into the mouth, throat, stomach and intestines. Effects of long-term alcohol use can cause all types of problems, both within an individual’s body and with their environment.

Health risks can begin as indigestion, peptic-ulcers, sore throats and chronic nausea. These medical symptoms can progress into more serious diseases if they remain untreated.

• The pancreas regulates blood sugar and prolonged, heavy drinking can lead to a diagnosis of pancreatitis.

• Women can experience trouble with their menstrual cycle, sterility or experience pre-menopausal occurrences. Do not let drinking take away from you the joy of having your own baby one day.
• Cirrhosis is a disease of the liver that can be fatal.

• Cancer of the esophagus and other vital organs.

For all these reasons, long-term effects of alcohol use should be strongly evaluated by any person who drinks on a regular basis.

Then, there is the legal enforcement side of long-term alcohol use – a criminal record. Drinking and driving on repetitive levels can land a person in jail. Also consider the effects your drunk driving could have on others.

I received an email just this morning, which I would like to share with you:

It is about a beautiful young lady; a 17-year old drunken driver hit the car Jacqueline Subrido was driving home in one night from a party. She appeared on Oprah along with the young man who caused her to sustain 60% burns and required more than 40 operations.

Once an individual has been charged with drunk driving, the law record of the incident will follow them for the rest of their lives. The guilt associated with killing an innocent person, even longer.

Alcoholism can have an extremely detrimental effect on current and future employment, family and your social life.

Female drinkers reach higher blood alcohol levels (BAL) faster because we carry less water and more fat in the body and because of differences in digestive enzymes between men and women. Women develop alcohol-related disorders such as brain damage, cirrhosis and cancers at lower levels of drinking than men. It is also known that the menstrual cycle affects alcohol metabolism in women. Women have been shown to develop their highest BAL's immediately before menstruating, and their lowest on the first day of menstruation. This can be related to hormone level shifts. There is evidence, which shows that premenstrual syndrome with its emotional effects and physical discomfort, and de-stabilised blood-sugar levels can trigger excessive drinking in some women.

Drugs such as marijuana and cocaine that are used, like alcohol, for "recreational" purposes have different, but similarly harmful, physical and emotional effects.

Frequent use of marijuana can lead to "amotivational syndrome", in which the user becomes apathetic, loses their ability to set realistic goals and lacks drive and ambition.

“Crack" Cocaine, which comes in various forms, and amphetamines, are fast-acting stimulants, which cause an excitement in the user. People who use alcohol and stimulant drugs together will need to drink more to feel the relaxing effects of alcohol because of the “high” caused by the stimulant drug. When stimulant effects wear off, the alcohol effects "catch up" quickly, and that can be extremely dangerous, both in terms of physical effects and distortions of perception and judgment and overdose is likely.

Smoking harms nearly every organ of the body; causing many diseases and reducing the health of smokers in general. More deaths are caused each year by tobacco use than by all deaths from human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), illegal drug use, alcohol use, motor vehicle injuries, suicides, and murders combined.

In the 1950’s smoking was believed to be sexy. Things have changed a lot though and these days there is a different definition for sexy. A woman is found sexy by men if she has healthy skin, fresh breath and smells nice. Smoking harms that whole picture and it makes you sick – there is just no value to it! In a recent survey it was found that more than 90% of men would not ask a woman out who smokes or drinks excessively.