Puberty

For now, let me tell you a shortened version of my life-story.

I was born and raised in a small town in the Freestate, South Africa as the youngest of 4 siblings and eight years younger than my youngest brother. I was quite privileged in that everyone loved this little curly blonde girl. I had all kinds of cute nicknames, including Goldie Locks and Red Riding Hood (because of a little coat I used to love). Everyone cherished and protected me and of course, I thrived.

As I grew up, I loved being with my mom every second of every day, much like my own little girl does today. Instead of spending time with my friends, I would rather play with my Barbies or sit with my mom at work drawing all day long. Those were very special times that I miss dearly today and I miss seeing my mom more frequently.

My body started developing at a young age and it was a very sore subject for me back then. My breasts were huge compared to those of my friends and I was teased and humiliated no end.

My school grades were quite acceptable and because I did not follow a certain stereotypical study-routine, but rather relied on my common sense, that too was a topic for more harassment. At high school fellow classmates assumed I cheated in tests, as they assumed I needed to study harder than them and if they saw me in town the day before, they assumed that in fact I did not study at all. Children can be so cruel. These circumstances caused me to grow up much quicker than any child should.

My independent attitude and need for solace continued and I was very much a loner, who avoided any school functions and stayed away from places where I might encounter kids from school. I would much rather spend my time playing piano, draw or ride my bike.

I did not attend parties and other places where one would meet others. Instead, I often had a crush on someone who never noticed me despite my efforts. This of course led to it’s own kind of rejection.