This time in your life is filled with mixed emotions: it is exciting to be growing up and being given some more leeway here and there, but there are many new emotions to deal with and to try and cope with. Body changes is one of the harder things to talk to others about, especially your parents.
I will not spend time on this article talking much about the physical act of sex; there is enough information out there and on the Internet on this topic. This book is about issues that teenagers want to know about and that nobody ever answers.
Sex can take on many forms depending on the attitude of both partners:
- It can be a beautifully intimate experience between two loving people
- It can be a physical gratification exercise for both partners
- It can be a meaningless act during which one person experiences pleasure at the others’ expense
- It can be a currency which we use to ‘buy’ the love of our partner
The topic of sex has been taken too lightly in recent years with young girls taking too many chances and getting hurt in the process.
I am well aware of the fact that you will take to heart only what really touches your heart in this chapter and I pray to God that you will be open-minded and realize that there is no benefit for me in you having sex or not having sex and that this book is for your benefit only. I know that it has not been “cool” to abstain from sex until you are married for many years.
Many men feel that in the beginning of a relationship a woman would do anything for them where sex is concerned and then it would change the moment they commit or the relationship becomes serious. Therefore, many guys would initially push for sex early on, but if you command respect and make your wishes clear, he will be more than happy to wait – that is, if he is worth your wait.
Some of my friends have used sex to motivate a guy to commit to them - perhaps without realising it. Initially they would give in to sex and even enjoy it, particularly if a relationship forms. Women usually need that special emotional bond that comes with being physical with a man, believing he would feel the same. Once that bond is established, a woman would be more inclined to refuse. The man would still want as much sex, but in the woman’s mind, subconsciously, there would be some element of guilt or fear (of pregnancy perhaps) or perhaps she might feel that she now has “caught” him and soon enough she would start to feel like 'a piece of meat'. See, in young sexual relationships, the attention is soon diverted away from the courting process, where we are made to feel beautiful and special, to where sex is the focal point in a relationship.
Guys are not all about sex, but when they get it they are very happy. Men are hunters and they need to conquer, but conquering a woman of virtue is much more of a victory than getting some girl in bed. My mom always used to say that men want to date a wild girl, but marry a decent girl.
Believe it or not, but to a guy it is your personality that counts, the fact that you are a caring and good-natured person and your attitude to life is an important factor too. Taking care of your body and emotional well-being is a big plus!
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