What sex does to the emotions

For many young people, the amount of sexual partners they have or had in the past, is a gauge of how ‘cool’ they are.

As a teenager I had a lot of crushes on men, buy my mom taught me that I should keep my virginity. I’d be so excited when a guy I had a crush on gave me attention, or kissed me.

Later I started seeing a pattern forming, each boy who kissed me also wanted to have sex with me and every time I refused, they would just avoid me afterwards. My friends started talking about their sexual encounters and the pattern that formed there, was even worse. They would sleep with guys and the guys would avoid them afterwards too. In one instance, the guy told everyone about his encounter with the girl and she was mortified, as any self-respecting girl would be in that situation.

Now, in the circles where I move with married women, I see a lot of hurt. Women have realized that sexual experiences have a different meaning to men that they do to us and that they don’t necessarily bring couples closer together, or force a union.

For myself, once I have realized that Wade is the man I will be spending the rest of my life with and since I have become born again, I have wanted to be pure for Wade and for God. As a born again person, you do become pure of spirit (the aim is to keep it that way) but you can never break the chemical ties of your past.

A friend of mine had sex with many men when she was young. It boosted her confidence, which was crushed by her father telling her that she was fat and ugly and would never find a man to love her.

When she finally found a great man who cared for her, she was unable to enjoy making love to him and eventually, it stopped completely. She felt dirty and used by all the men of her past. She began hating men and her relationship ended.

Sex is a beautiful experience between two secure, loving adults. Sex cannot force a connection or a commitment; neither can it force someone to love you. A first sexual experience with a new partner is almost always a disaster and you cannot create that intense attraction a man needs in order to fall in love through sex.

Rather wait until you find the person who will wait for you – it will be so much more worth it!