Life's pressures

Life is not always easy and everyone feels like throwing in the towel at some point in time and often this stress becomes the focal point in your mind.

Everything seems to be affected by this issue and it is hard to take your mind off it and other smaller issues attach themselves to this big issue, almost like a snowball that keeps getting bigger and running over everything in sight.

Just like this snowball you start running over everyone in sight. You start snapping at everyone around you, throwing your cell phone (your most prized possession) into tiny pieces against the wall…

The moment you pick up the pieces, you feel even worse – how did you get so angry?

I have been there too. I have broken many cell phones and other things of sentimental value and hated myself for it. Until the day when I thought I had broken my laptop. That was the worst, but also the best as I had a light bulb moment that day.

Throwing things around and breaking valuables is just stupid – sorry, but there’s no excuse for it. Only a brat would waste money like that.

If you battle to control your anger and other emotions, you need to learn to compartmentalize.

Imagine that you have a big shelf with a number of ‘compartments’ for each area of your life: one for each family member, one for school, one for friends, etc. Now everything relating to each of those compartments goes in the appropriate box.

To put it into perspective, you need to keep school at school and home at home. Likewise, if your sister makes you angry, do not take it out on your mother. If you fail a test, do not take it out on your cell phone. Compartmentalizing takes practice, but it makes life easier. It also keeps you in control and shows that you are mature.

Another part of compartmentalizing is that you should not dwell on issues. If you have an argument with your boyfriend, do not let it spoil your girls’ lunch.

You should never give any issue more time or energy than it is worth as every 60 seconds you waste is a minute in your life that you will not get back.

Me time

When you have a family of your own and a home to take care of and a marriage to work on and kids to feed, your own needs are not on the to do list. For now, put yourself first, second and third.

Find a hobby or fun activity, which you can enjoy alone. Ice-skating with friends is not suitable. You need “me time”. Me time can be anything you can enjoy doing alone, at least for an hour or two a week.

It could be something arty such as painting or drawing, sewing, writing, walking, reading or whatever you enjoy, but preferably something that allows your mind to drift as far away from the daily hassles as possible.

The rest of your life should be planned around this time and you should not be disturbed in this time. Friends and family should know that this is your time too.