Coping with heartbreak

As teenagers, our hearts break so many times. I shed so many tears for men who, until today have no idea that I exist! Every time this happened, I thought my life has ended, but I lived through it more than a cat with 9 lives.

People often say “One day you will laugh about it” and that really is true. Today I am so glad that I did not run to those people’s homes and declare my everlasting love to them – can you imagine the embarrassment? Besides, today I have the greatest man ever to love me – he knows me better than I do and we share a really great bond.

As teenage girls, we are usually the ones who are dumped and not the dumpers and this is really sad, but hey – you have to kiss many toads before you find your dream prince.

Both your dignity and his memory of you depend on how you handle this breakup. Girl, you cannot fall apart when he breaks up with you – least of all in front of him! Here are a few options:

When he breaks up with you:

• Face to face – Try not to act surprised and say something like: “I agree with you – it is better that way. ” Do not stay to discuss it, just wish him good luck and walk away. I once had a boyfriend for a whole week when he broke up with me and I was going to take a giant leap, inviting him for dinner when he broke up with me. I was shocked and pretended to be relieved “I am so glad you broke up with me – I felt too sorry for you to do it to you, but it is really not working for me. ” In truth, I found him childish, but the attention I got from him was great during a difficult time in my life.

• Via email / sms – Respond much later and refrain from sending a long reply. A simple “Sure – no problem” would do. He would be horrified that you are not asking why he is breaking up with you – it shows certain maturity in you. He will know that he made a mistake and will experience a sense of loss. Demanding an explanation, on the contrary is the worst thing you can do – it shows a neediness and men cannot stand a needy woman.

• By telephone – This one is great fun. When he says, “I want to break up” you could ask him to repeat himself and then pretend that the signal is breaking up, saying “sorry, you are breaking up?” and eventually hanging up on him. Avoid his calls until you see him. Least he could do is have common decency and tell you to your face. When he does, you could thank him for the respect he showed by doing this to your face and wish him good luck in future.

It is key to leave with all your dignity in tact. Be calm and do not make a scene (in front of him!) – in the privacy of your own bedroom behind a closed door, you can do whatever you like!

Sooner or later you are bound to start dating a great new guy, who is probably a great catch, but he just irritates you when he does not weigh up to Mr Ex, whom you are still missing terribly. Having him around is however a sign that you are not as bad as you thought and Mr. Ex should know that. What better way than to send him an email, just to let him know how great you are doing? It sounds sweet enough, but in truth you really just want him to know what he is missing out on.

Do not do it! It will show him that you are still pining for him and instead of running to you to declare that he has made a huge mistake – he will run even further away and warn everyone that you are a typical, predictable woman his mother has warned him against.