Divorce and single parenting

Divorce is never easy; not for kids affected by it and most definitely not for parents. In early days, before the separation takes place and one parent moves out, there may be conflict at home, making it difficult to have any fun at all – you may even feel like you don’t want to be there at all. Your parents will more than likely be pre-occupied most of the time and seem not to be very attentive to your needs, in fact they may even forget important events.

Insecurity could make you more needy than usual and sometimes your parents may shout at you because of it. Try to understand that it is not you.

Of course, if your parents have one argument, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are going to get divorced. Even people that love each other more than life itself will argue from time to time.

You need to try understanding that a divorce is never the children’s’ fault, so do not blame yourself. People get married and sometimes it just does not work out. People fall out of love and there could be irreconcilable differences that cause them to be unable to stay married.

During times like these you may feel angry and resentful towards your parents for being so ‘weak’ and turning your life up-side down by not just working out their problems.

Support both parents equally, no matter whom you are staying with after their separation. Do not side with one parent, even if they become irrational and say you are being unfair. Show them that you are a responsible young adult and that you can handle this in a mature way. The same applies to grandparents who may try to side with their child against one of your parents. Don’t allow one parent to badmouth the other to you.

You may be angry about your parents’ divorce, in which case I suggest you find someone you can confide in, such as a teacher or a friend who has been through a divorce. Also, try keeping your chin up – parents today are getting much better at co-parenting children.